im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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