It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize