and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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