your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
