Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
