the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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