you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You took a bar mat shot.
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370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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