I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
