Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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