We got so high we made milksteak
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
