She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
