I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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