Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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