Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
