I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
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She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
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I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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