wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
