my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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