She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
