I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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