you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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