You made me cry and you don't even care
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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