i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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