Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
