THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
