i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
