My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
