Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I want her autograph on my taint
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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