Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
