i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
