it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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