she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
