Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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