3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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