Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
