It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
