its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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