I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
