I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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