Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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