you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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