Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
