I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
