can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
