is your mom at the bar?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
