Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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