i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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