Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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