he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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