Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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