I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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