sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize