I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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