Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
