We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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