Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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